Here it is:
Having a double mastectomy with reconstruction hurts and it is hard, like f*cking hard and it's OK to say that even though I "chose" to take this preventative measure AND in no way regret my decision. It's hard but manageable and with every day I was healing, I knew I just took my risk of having breast cancer down from 87% to around 5%.
I woke up after the surgery, tightly wrapped and feeling like I could hardly breathe. I welcomed the oxygen tube blowing through my nose and tried not to move unless necessary. Unfortunately, I had to move. The IV that was keeping me well hydrated also made me have to pee, often. After trying to find the buttons that would move the hospital bed and then cursing the fact it was moving and with the help of my husband who never left my side, I got out of bed and ever so so slowly walked. At that moment my healing began. I was in the hospital for 3 full days and 2 nights. That's 3 days of shots in my stomach to keep blood clots away, breathing exercises through a special gage that kept fluid out of my lungs which was not fun since it hurt to take deep breaths and 3 days of hospital food that consisted pretty much of broth since I was vomiting. I was having problems with nausea from the anesthesia and vomited a bit. This continued after I left the hospital so a prescription was called in for anti nausea medicine which did the trick. I recommend asking for a prescription before you leave the hospital if you have a sensitivity to pain killers and anesthesia. I also had severe constipation from the morphine, and all the medicine that was being put into my body. I should have been taking stuff all along to help me "go" but the hospital staff some how missed that. I started on medicine for constipation a little late so I had HORRIBLE pain in my intestines for 6 hours, cramping and contractions that reminded me of labor contractions. So... anticipate constipation and take stool softeners with something that helps you "go" before the problem starts. I share these thoughts because I believe that with a little insight you can avoid some unnecessary pain, nausea and discomfort and ease your mind knowing what to possibly expect. You don't want to be dealing with these issues along with the double mastectomy.
Eventually weeks to months down the road, I could do most things I was doing before, driving again, walking faster and even exercising. Sleeping was tricky for me pretty much the whole time I had my expanders in. I had to lay either on my back or when on my side use a pillow or just make sure my arm did not rest across the side of my breast. They have pillows you can purchase that allows you to comfortably sleep on your belly and even get massages.
Overall I did well and never felt it was too much to handle. A month after surgery I was at my daughter's gymnastic class when someone over heard me talking to another mom about how my surgery went. The woman came up to me and said she was going to have the same surgery in a few weeks after finding out she was positive for the BRCA mutation and having already gone through breast cancer a year ago or so. I shared with her how well I was doing and gave her my blog. I ran into her a few months later after her surgery. She said seeing me 4 weeks after my surgery and how well I was doing and reading my blog gave her strength and perspective.
I may not be reaching 1000's of people right now but even a few makes it all worth it.
Share your heart, come from a place of love and be kind.
XO
